just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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