help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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