did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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