It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
