Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i think i just lost a toe
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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