he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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