there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
