Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
