we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
