is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
