We're like a lot better than the average bears
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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