Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
