Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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