I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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