Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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