So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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