it wasn't lemon gatorade
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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