I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
