yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
