i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
