does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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