I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
