I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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