Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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