Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize