How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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