Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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