The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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