I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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