i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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