Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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