this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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