Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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