Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
