It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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