both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
