I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
