there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
