oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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