I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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