im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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