Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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