Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
