when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
