I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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