i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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