my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
