Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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