Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
