I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
