hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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