**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
