everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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