Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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