He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
