i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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