I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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