I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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